About Papi Possum
The Origin Story
Nobody really knows where Papi Possum came from. Some say he emerged from the woods one foggy morning in 2003, holding a baby possum in each hand and a half-eaten breakfast burrito in his mouth. Others say he was born on the farm itself, which would explain a lot.
What we do know is this: Papi Possum loves possums with his whole heart, and he has dedicated his life to giving these misunderstood marsupials the five-star treatment they deserve.
The Philosophy
Papi runs Possum Farm on three core principles:
- Every possum deserves dignity. Even the weird ones. Especially the weird ones.
- Play dead when necessary. This applies to both possums and farmers facing difficult conversations.
- The nocturnal life is the good life. Most of Papi’s best decisions were made between 2am and 4am.
The Farm
Possum Farm spans 40 acres of lush, organic, mostly-unmowed terrain on the outskirts of a small town that asked to remain anonymous (it’s the possums, they’re nervous). The land features:
- The Great Slumber Meadow — a 10-acre expanse where possums nap in peace
- The Enrichment Zone — an obstacle course made entirely of cardboard boxes and fallen logs
- The Snack Barn — stocked with the finest overripe persimmons, grubs, and what Papi calls “the good garbage”
- Papi’s Cottage — a converted tool shed that Papi insists is “rustic, not sad”
Awards & Recognition
- 🥇 Most Opossums Per Acre — Regional Marsupial Fair, 2007, 2009, 2014, 2019
- 🦝 Spirit of the Possum Award — given to Papi by himself, annually, at a ceremony he invented
- ⭐ 4.8 Stars on Yelp — “Great possums, owner kept offering me grubs, 5 stars minus one for the grubs” — Dave M.
- 📺 Featured on Local Access Channel 7 — during a 3am broadcast that nobody was supposed to see
Papi’s Possum Facts Corner
“Did you know possums are immune to most snake venoms? They are basically indestructible little nighttime gremlins and I respect them completely.”
“Possums have opposable thumbs on their hind feet. They are better at climbing than you are. Deal with it.”
“A possum’s body temperature is too low for the rabies virus to survive. They are cleaner than most people I know.”
Contact Papi
Papi is available for:
- Farm tours (by appointment, ideally not during nap hours: 6am–4pm)
- Possum consultations
- Motivational speaking (his TED Talk application has been submitted 7 times)
- Weddings, if they’re outside and possums are invited